It is an election promise that has outlasted two prime ministers and remains, literally, a thorn in the side of anyone using the men’s toilets at the Crown and Treaty pub in west London. The hand dryer Count Binface vowed to move to a “more convenient place” in his first ever election contest, against Boris Johnson in 2019, is still there — triggering automatic activation for anyone using the far-right urinal.
This month, as Binface — the comedy persona of writer Jonathan David Harvey — prepares to take on Nigel Farage as his only opponent of consequence in the Clacton by-election, Metro sent a reporter to inspect the lingering nuisance. A male punter emerged from the loo with “a shy expression” and admitted the dryer was “in an awkward place”. Inside, the device sits just centimetres from one of the sinks, so that using the urinal on the far right side turns it on — and if you need the dryer while someone is at the urinal, awkwardness ensues.
“Count Binface’s 2019 pledge to move a pub urinal hand dryer remains unfulfilled as he runs against Nigel Farage.”
The pub’s new owners, Guna and Anu Sachdeva, who took over in October, have endured prank calls and online comments about the hand dryer for months without understanding why. It was only two days ago — after two men cycled from Ealing to see it — that they realised the source. “We have had the occasional social media comment and prank call about it, but we were never quite sure what it was about,” Guna told Metro. “These men came and told us about it, and then asked to put our ice bucket on their head so they can take a picture with it.” The pub has since received a flurry of Google reviews, one of which, from someone who has never visited, reads: “I request you to relocate the Men’s toilet hand dryer to a more sensible position.” The establishment’s AI tags now include “hand dryer” alongside “family-friendly” and “walk-ins only”.
Binface — whose original name was Lord Buckethead before Harvey rebranded — has always used absurdist pledges to puncture political pretension. His Clacton manifesto includes abolishing VAR, nationalising Adele, and capping a 99 flake at 99p, as well as building “at least one affordable house”. But the hand dryer remains his longest-standing promise. Harvey, a stand-up and writer with credits on The Thick of It, has stood against every incumbent prime minister and London mayor since 2017. By his own account, comedy was an escape from a difficult childhood with a “bibulous, domineering father” and a way of surviving the sudden death of his diabetic, morbidly obese brother Dan. In Clacton, the fool has become the establishment: the only opponent of consequence for Farage. And the hand dryer is still there. Looking around the Crown and Treaty’s toilet — a historic building where King Charles I held his unsuccessful treaty before being beheaded — the only remaining wall is small and sits right behind the entrance door, leaving your face vulnerable. Not even a comedian can fix that.