Sir Roger Deakins has admitted he still feels nervous stepping onto film sets for the first time — even after a nearly 50-year career that has earned him two Oscars and five Baftas. The British cinematographer, whose work includes classics such as The Shawshank Redemption, Fargo, A Beautiful Mind and 1917, revealed his ongoing anxiety on BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs.
“It’s new people and a new situation and until I get comfortable, I find it very difficult,” Deakins told host Lauren Laverne. “On the other hand though – if you didn’t feel that stress and pressure, I don’t think you would be trying to do your best.” He added: “That is what it is about. I want to do something that I feel like is part of me.”
“Sir Roger Deakins reveals he still feels terrified on new film sets despite two Oscars and a 50-year career.”
Deakins explained that he finds confidence when he is behind the camera. “I’ve always felt most confident when I’ve had my eye to the eyepiece of a camera. You are escaping reality in a way through the lens. There’s a certain distance I suppose.”
His insistence on operating cameras himself has put him at odds with some directors, including Sir Ridley Scott. “I’ve had conversations with some directors and then in the end we’ve gone… ‘it’s not going to work, is it?’,” Deakins recalled. “He was somebody I spoke to a couple of times… he was operating at the time and shooting on zoom lenses… a lot of the things I don’t really like.”
During the interview, Deakins also spoke about the death of his mother from multiple sclerosis when he was nine years old. “I don’t remember much… I remember when she was a little better. She went through stages. But I remember when I was young and we went to the beach and dad had to carry her back to the car in a carrier,” he said. Calling her ill health “traumatic”, he said his mother spent the last few years of her life “in bed”. He admitted he “didn’t deal with it very well” and that he “wasn’t allowed” to attend her funeral.
Soon after his father remarried, his new wife “was there for about a week then disappeared”, Deakins said, and he then threw himself into work. Known as a “master of light”, the cinematographer has collaborated multiple times with directors including the Coen brothers and Sam Mendes. Despite his decades of experience, the terror of the first day on a new set has never left him.