The waiter places the card reader on the table. A friend gleefully announces: 'Let's just divide it equally!' For many, it is a moment of quiet dread. One person ordered two cocktails and a £16 truffle arancini starter; another stuck to tap water. But refusing to split the bill can feel like a social minefield.
Ella, a 23-year-old communications assistant from Leeds, knows this well. She earns over £30,000 but some of her friends earn more. When they suggest a meal she cannot afford, she simply matches their order to avoid feeling short-changed. 'It just feels awkward,' she says of asking to pay only for what she consumed. The real crunch comes on holiday. Rather than speak up, she scrambles for extra cash. 'I'm probably on the phone to my mother in secret asking to borrow that extra bit of cash,' she admits.
“Many struggle to challenge equal bill splitting, with research showing only 4 in 10 adults comfortable discussing money with friends.”
Her reluctance reflects a wider problem. Research by the Money and Pensions Service in 2025 found that only four in 10 adults feel comfortable talking to friends about money. Women are significantly less likely than men to do so – 39% compared with 50%. Ella's friendship group never discusses finances. They have booked a four-night beach holiday costing around £680 each for flights and accommodation, using a bill-splitting app to track expenses. 'We never really consider if something is affordable or not,' she says. 'We all pay the same, no matter your salary.'
But experts say honesty is the best policy. Laura Pomfret, chief executive of the women's finance community Financielle, advises being open from the start. 'If you know you have a limit on what you can afford, say it at the beginning rather than sitting through the meal hoping someone else suggests paying separately,' she says. People worry speaking up will ruin the atmosphere, but friends often respond positively.
Chloe, 31, who runs a tech startup and earns around £80,000, is part of a different kind of group. She and her friends talk openly about salaries and affordability – a habit forged through shared tough times. 'We talk about money all the time – pay rises, investments, whether we can afford something,' she says. For many, such candour remains a distant ideal – and a quiet call to their mother remains the fallback.