Being invited to Taylor Swift's rumoured wedding bash comes with a perk: a no-gift policy. But for most wedding guests, the invitation now often reads: "Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund." That shift from traditional gift lists to bank transfer details has created a new etiquette dilemma: how much are you expected to give?
Wedding list service Prezola says it has seen a rise in couples inviting guests to pay for specific experiences rather than a generic cash pot, with the average guest contribution at £116. But expectations vary widely, depending on closeness, culture and the cost of attending.
“Wedding cash gifts average £116, but guests are divided over how much to give, from £50 to £400.”
Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie contribute between £250 and £400, depending on how close they are to the bride and groom and what they can afford. "We don't have that many friends, so it's nice to give generously," he says. At his own wedding, most close friends gave between £100 and £200, one couple gave £400, and they received £2,000 from Jonny's father. That money funded spending on their 17-day honeymoon in Canada – though Jonny says they had saved for it because "it's not worth the risk of relying on donations".
Not everyone gives hundreds. Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, says she "always gives £50 in a card" and found that the average contribution to her own honeymoon fund was the same. She and her husband mentioned money on invitations and created QR codes for guests to scan at the bar. She received £3,000, which will be used as spending money for the honeymoon she had already paid for. According to Hitched, a UK-based wedding planning website, the average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon.
Despite asking for money, Hannah also received physical gifts – champagne and flute glasses from her boss. "They were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted," she says. Jonny adds that some guests ignore the cash request because they want to give something more meaningful, which often results in John Lewis and M&S vouchers, plus physical gifts.
The trend is clear: couples want cash for experiences, but guests remain divided on the right amount – from £50 to £400 – and whether to stick to tradition.