Sarah Reeve gave her fiancé an ultimatum: clear his debt or no wedding. When the couple met in their early 20s, Sarah was paying a mortgage while Lee paid rent to his mother. He had taken out a £2,000 bank loan – £4,000 in today's money – to buy a car. 'I told him I wouldn't marry him if he had any debts,' says the 45-year-old. They set a wedding date two years ahead, giving Lee time to pay off the loan. Once the debt was cleared, the couple paid everything into a joint account and Sarah took charge of bills, saving and budgeting. 'He said, "you can sort it all out and take charge with money because I'm rubbish with it,"' she recalls.
Sarah earns £24,000 working part-time in insurance. Lee worked in maintenance at the same factory for 27 years, earning about £26,000, before being made redundant four years ago. He now works for himself in property maintenance and earns about £30,000. The couple, who have been together for 25 years and have two daughters aged 19 and 21, have always thought of money as shared. 'It's very much our money rather than mine or yours which is really nice especially as I took four years off work when we had children,' says Sarah.
“Sarah Reeve gave her fiancé an ultimatum to clear his debt before marriage, then took charge of their joint finances.”
Their experience reflects a wider trend: more than four fifths of women are actively involved in managing daily finances, according to St James's Place's Women and Wealth Report. Sarah says they have never overstretched themselves and have made regular overpayments on their mortgage. 'We've also always been savers – well, I've been the saver for us,' she adds. Every month she writes down how much money is in their accounts. 'That really helps as if we've had a bad month, at least you know and can find the reason.'
Family Action, a charity that offers financial support to families, says that when money is tight the first step 'is getting a clear picture of what's going on as this helps you understand your current position so you can make the best decisions possible together going forward.' But being the financially responsible one has not always been easy. Sarah wishes Lee would take more ownership. 'I feel like it's all down to me,' she says. Lee, she says, is not money-orientated and is happy for her to make the decisions. 'He says, "I met you and I had nothing, so I don't care if I have nothing,"' she says. Sarah felt the pressure of planning for their future. They had 'a little pot of money' – but it is Sarah who remains in charge.