Jennifer Read-Dominguez went on a first date where the man took her to an expensive restaurant, complained about the cost and suggested they split the bill. When his card failed, she ended up paying for the entire meal. “He said he’d pay me back, but he never did,” she says. “I could afford it, but that’s not the point.” The experience left her feeling taken advantage of: “I think he assumed I’d simply absorb the cost and I did but I felt used.”
The digital editor is among the millions of UK adults navigating the minefield of who should pay on a first date – a question that, according to Barclays research in 2025, costs the average adult more than £111 a month, or £1,300 a year. For under-30s in particular, the expense is a major barrier: over half of Gen Z adults say cost affects their ability to date.
“UK adults spend over £111 a month on dates, with split-bill etiquette dividing opinions and leaving some feeling used.”
Read-Dominguez believes the person who asks for the date should be prepared to pay. She says women “can absolutely foot the bill themselves but that’s not the point”. For her, a man paying is about “effort and keeping some traditional gestures alive in modern dating” – not dependence or inequality. The amount spent matters far less than the thought, she adds, as long as it’s “within their means”. She would be just as happy being taken to a fast-food restaurant as a high-end one.
Yasmin El-Saie, a content creator from London, agrees. She says she would be “put off if a man expected us to split the bill on a first date”. “When a man pays, he’s showing he wants his date to feel comfortable and looked after,” she explains. “Maybe it’s a double standard and down to my upbringing, but I still find it attractive.” That doesn’t mean she expects men to pay for everything – if a date continues elsewhere, she is happy to contribute. “If he pays for dinner and we go for drinks afterwards, I’d happily get the drinks. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel used.”
El-Saie recalls one memorable date with a recent divorcee who was determined to keep finances separate. The pair went to a buffet restaurant where diners were charged according to the number of food sticks they…