The price of romance is climbing. Adults across the UK spend more than £111 per month on dates and dating apps, equating to over £1,300 per year, according to Barclays research in 2025. For under 30s, cost is a great barrier: over half of Gen Z adults say expense impacts their ability to go on dates.
That pressure has inflamed an age-old debate: who should pay on a first date? Some insist on splitting equally, others believe the person who sets up the date should foot the bill. Despite changing attitudes towards gender roles, many still see a man paying as a romantic gesture rather than an outdated tradition.
“UK adults spend £111 per month on dates as debate rages over who should pay on a first date.”
Jennifer Read-Dominguez, a digital editor who is currently single, believes whoever asks for a first date should be prepared to pay for it. She says women "can absolutely foot the bill themselves but that's not the point". "Sometimes it's nice to take a step back from always being the one making decisions and simply enjoy feeling feminine and being looked after." For her, a man paying is not about dependence or inequality but "effort and keeping some traditional gestures alive in modern dating". She says the amount spent matters far less than the thought behind it, and she would be just as happy being taken to a fast-food restaurant as a high-end one, as long as it is "within their means."
Her own experience left her feeling taken advantage of. She went on a date where a man took her to an expensive restaurant, complained about the cost and suggested they split. When his card failed, Jennifer ended up paying for the entire meal. "He said he'd pay me back, but he never did. I could afford it, but that's not the point." The experience left her feeling used.
Yasmin El-Saie, a content creator from London, says she would be "put off if a man expected us to split the bill on a first date". "When a man pays, he's showing he wants his date to feel comfortable and looked after," she says. "Maybe it's a double standard and down to my upbringing, but I still find it attractive." She does not expect men to pay for everything: if a date continues elsewhere, she is happy to contribute. "If he pays for dinner and we go for drinks afterwards, I'd happily get the drinks. I wouldn't want anyone to feel used." Yet one memorable date involved a recent divorcee who was determined to keep finances separate. They went to a buffet restaurant where diners were charged according to the number of food sticks.
The debate shows no sign of settling. With cocktail prices topping £15 and budgets squeezed, the question of who picks up the tab remains a flashpoint – one that leaves some feeling romanced, others used.