Adults across the UK spend more than £111 per month on dates and dating apps – equating to more than £1,300 per year, according to 2025 research from Barclays. For under-30s, cost is a particular barrier, with over half of Gen Z adults saying expense impacts their ability to go on dates. With cocktails regularly topping £15 and restaurant bills climbing, even a casual evening out can quickly become expensive. Yet opinions on who should foot the bill remain deeply divided.
Jennifer Read-Dominguez, a digital editor who is currently single, believes whoever asks for a first date should be prepared to pay for it. She says women “can absolutely foot the bill themselves but that’s not the point”. For her, a man paying is about “effort and keeping some traditional gestures alive in modern dating”. She says the amount spent matters far less than the thought – she’d be just as happy at a fast-food restaurant as a high-end one, as long as it is “within their means”. But one experience left her feeling taken advantage of. A man took her to an expensive restaurant, complained about the cost and suggested they split. When his card failed, Jennifer ended up paying for the entire meal. “He said he’d pay me back, but he never did. I could afford it, but that’s not the point.” The experience left her feeling “used”.
“UK adults spend £111/month on dating; opinions vary on who should pay first-date bills.”
Yasmin El-Saie, a content creator from London, says she would be “put off if a man expected us to split the bill on a first date”. She sees a man paying as a sign he “wants his date to feel comfortable and looked after”. She acknowledges it might be a “double standard” from her upbringing but finds it attractive. However, she does not expect men to pay for everything: if a date continues, she is happy to chip in. “If he pays for dinner and we go for drinks afterwards, I’d happily get the drinks. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel used.” She recalls one memorable date with a recent divorcee who was determined to keep finances separate – they went to a buffet restaurant where diners were charged according to the number of food sticks they used.
The debate reflects a wider tension: some insist the bill should always be split equally, others believe the person who sets up the date should pay, and many still see a man paying as a romantic gesture rather than an outdated tradition. As costs rise, the question of who pays – and what it signals – shows no sign of being settled.