A cocktail can top £15. A restaurant bill climbs. And for many, even a casual evening out becomes a financial tightrope. Adults across the UK now spend more than £111 per month on dates and dating apps – £1,300 a year – according to 2025 research from Barclays. For under-30s, the cost is a particular barrier: over half of Gen Z adults say expense impacts their ability to go on dates.
And then comes the question that divides opinion like few others: who should pay on a first date?
“UK adults spend £111/month on dating, and who should pay the bill remains divisive.”
Jennifer Read-Dominguez, a digital editor who is single, believes the person who asks should be prepared to pay. "Women can absolutely foot the bill themselves but that's not the point," she says. "Sometimes it's nice to take a step back from always being the one making decisions and simply enjoy feeling feminine and being looked after." For her, a man paying is about "effort and keeping some traditional gestures alive in modern dating". The amount matters far less than the thought behind it – she would be just as happy at a fast-food restaurant as a high-end one, as long as it's "within their means".
But one date left her feeling taken advantage of. A man took her to an expensive restaurant, complained about the cost, and suggested they split the bill. When his card failed, Jennifer ended up paying for the entire meal. "He said he'd pay me back, but he never did. I could afford it, but that's not the point." The experience left her feeling used.
Yasmin El-Saie, a content creator from London, says she would be "put off if a man expected us to split the bill on a first date". When a man pays, she says, "he's showing he wants his date to feel comfortable and looked after. Maybe it's a double standard and down to my upbringing, but I still find it attractive." She does not expect him to pay for everything: if the evening continues elsewhere, she is happy to contribute. "If he pays for dinner and we go for drinks afterwards, I'd happily get the drinks. I wouldn't want anyone to feel used."
One memorable date involved a recent divorcee who was determined to keep finances separate – the pair went to a buffet restaurant where diners were charged according to the number of food sticks they took.
Despite changing attitudes towards gender roles, many still see a man picking up the bill as a romantic gesture rather than an outdated tradition. But as costs rise, the etiquette of who pays – and who feels put off by splitting it – shows no sign of settling.