When Natasha Suman moved back into her parents' home in Bedford after university, she expected to stay for just a few months while she searched for her first job. Three years later, the 24-year-old marketing coordinator is still there, saving for a deposit on her first home. She does not pay rent, only contributes towards bills, allowing her to put aside £1,000 a month into savings – something she says would have been impossible living alone, given the cost of living.
But life under her parents' roof has come with trade-offs. Natasha admits she has less freedom than when she lived independently and generally does fewer spontaneous things. She also argues more with her family than she used to, despite feeling fortunate. 'When I left home [for university], I was a very different person, and by the time I came back, I had essentially become an adult,' she says. 'Because of that, there have definitely been some clashes between me and my parents.'
“Natasha Suman, 24, has lived with her parents in Bedford for three years saving for a home deposit.”
The proportion of people in their 20s and 30s living with their parents has increased sharply over the last three decades, driven by rising house prices and rents. For Natasha and her parents, Rita and Pawan, flashpoints have included shared use of the family car after her own vehicle broke down, disagreements over how chores are divided, and how much time to spend together – with her parents wanting to see more of her.
'It has been an adjustment for all of us,' Natasha says. 'A lot of these disagreements stem from the fact that we are now four adults living together, all with our own routines, expectations and opinions.' Problems have been avoided by having conversations early on. Her parents set clear expectations such as cleaning up after herself and making her own lunch. The family has also discussed privacy, with Natasha asking her parents to knock before coming into her room. 'I tend to spend more time in my room to relax and unwind than I did before. Initially, my parents did not really understand this, but after talking about it, they have become more understanding.'
Loss of privacy is one of the most common issues adult children face when living with their parents, says Dr Fenia Christodoulidi, head of training and consultancy at counselling service Relate. Disagreements about overnight stays, guests, noise levels and use of shared spaces are all common problems, she adds. Some parents also comment on their adult children's lifestyle choices, further straining the relationship.