If you’ve ever glanced at the subscription platform OnlyFans and thought, 'Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Jeremy Clarkson pitched his tent here?', you’re now in luck. Sort of.
The Clarkson’s Farm star has helped launch Only Farmers, an online marketplace where users can book farms for holidays, tours and private hire, and farmers can monetise their land. Think of it as a farm-based Airbnb with a far dirtier-sounding moniker.
“Jeremy Clarkson launches Only Farmers, a farm-based marketplace with a name easily confused for a porn site.”
'Only Farmers is launching with UK farms first, while welcoming visitors from around the world to discover the British countryside,' its website says. 'From farm stays and family days to workshops, great food, animals, and events, book directly with the farmer.'
For farmers, the platform offers the ability to take bookings, set listings, prices and rules, and handle payments and messages themselves.
Several stars from Clarkson’s Farm have supplied quotes of support. Clarkson himself – billed as 'an aspiring farmer' – writes: 'There are experiences in the countryside you never knew existed.' The show’s breakout star Kaleb Cooper adds: 'This is real farms. Real people. Real countryside.'
The launch coincides with the series five premiere of Clarkson’s Farm, the Prime Video smash hit following Clarkson as he takes over a 1,000-acre farm in the Cotswolds. The Top Gear and Grand Tour host has turned the land into Diddly Squat Farm, opening a pub, The Farmer’s Dog, and a farm shop run by his partner, Lisa Hogan.
In the new series, Clarkson broke down in tears after being forced to give away his pigs because keeping them was not financially viable. 'I love the pigs,' he said. 'I’ve just been delighted with every day I’m down there. They make my heart sing … but we’re running a business here and they make no financial sense at all.'
Elsewhere in the series, Clarkson opened up about being days away from death after a heart emergency, and burned an effigy of Keir Starmer in response to Labour’s proposed 20% inheritance tax hike.
Despite his controversies, Clarkson’s countryside rebrand has won approval from Countryfile presenter Adam Henson, who is neighbours with Clarkson. 'It seems to me from the people around him and from his own voice that he’s really found a passion in farming,' Henson said. 'He’s a great advocate for British agriculture.'