‘Let’s just divide it!’: the awkwardness of splitting the bill among friends

The waiter places the card reader on the table. You’ve stuck to tap water while a friend ordered two cocktails and another “just wants to try” that £16 truffle arancini starter. Then comes the jolly cry: “Let’s just divide it equally!” For many, it is a social minefield. Ella, a 23-year-old communications assistant from Leeds, says she never suggests everyone pay for what they ordered because “it just feels awkward”. She earns over £30,000 but some of her friends earn more, and rather than speak up when they choose an expensive restaurant she cannot really afford, Ella matches her order with theirs so she isn’t left short-changed. It is worse on holiday. Instead of telling her friends how she feels, she “scrabbles around for extra money”. “I’m probably on the phone to my mother in secret asking to borrow that extra bit of cash,” she says. Ella’s reluctance reflects a wider trend. Research from the Money and Pensions Service (MaPS) in 2025 found only four in 10 adults feel comfortable talking to friends about money, with women significantly less likely (39%) than men (50%). Ella says money is almost never discussed within her friendship group. They have booked a four-night beach holiday costing around £680 each for flights and accommodation, using a bill-splitting app to log expenses before balancing everything at the end. “We never really consider if something is affordable or not,” she says. “We all pay the same, no matter your salary.” So how do you say no? Laura Pomfret, chief executive of women’s finance community Financielle, says people worry that speaking up will ruin the atmosphere. But friends often respond positively if you are honest about your financial situation. “If you know you have a limit on what you can afford, say it at the beginning rather than sitting through the meal hoping someone else suggests paying separately,” she advises. Some groups manage better. Chloe, 31, who runs a tech startup and earns around £80,000, says she and her friends are very open about salaries and what they can afford, partly because they have been through tough times together. “We talk about money all the time – pay rises, investments, whether we can afford something.” For those who find such openness hard, the bill-splitting app may only delay the reckoning – and the phone call to mum.