Being a wedding guest can be expensive, though the lucky few invited to megastar Taylor Swift's rumoured wedding bash are likely to be able to afford it. While Swift and her partner Travis Kelce have a no-gift policy, most couples are increasingly asking for cash – but the etiquette is leaving guests divided over how much to give.
Wedding list service Prezola says it has seen a rise in couples inviting guests to pay for specific experiences rather than a generic cash pot, with the average guest contribution at £116. But expectations vary widely, depending on everything from closeness and culture to the cost of attending.
“Wedding cash requests rise, with guests giving £116 on average, but etiquette debates persist as some prefer physical gifts.”
Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie contribute between £250 and £400 depending on how close they are to the bride and groom and what they can afford at the time. "We don't have that many friends, so it's nice to give generously," he says. At his own wedding, most close friends gave between £100 and £200, one couple gave £400, and they received £2,000 from Jonny's dad, which they used as spending money on their 17-day honeymoon in Canada – though Jonny says they'd saved for it "because it's not worth the risk of relying on donations".
Not everyone is giving hundreds of pounds. Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, says she "always gives £50 in a card" and found that the average contribution to her own honeymoon fund was the same. She received £3,000 from guests, which will be used as spending money for the honeymoon she had already paid for. "We mentioned money on our invitations and also created print-out QR codes for people to scan at the bar," she says. Despite asking for cash, she also received physical gifts. "We got a lot of champagne and some flute glasses from my boss at work, which were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted."
According to Hitched, a UK-based wedding planning website, the average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon. But some guests still ignore the request for money because they want to give something more meaningful. Jonny says: "They mean well, but it probably means you'll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we did, as well as some physical gifts too." The rise of QR codes at the bar and honeymoon funds may simplify the transaction, but whether a card with cash or a set of champagne flutes is the better token of affection remains a question every guest must answer.