Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce may have a no-gift policy for their rumoured wedding, but for most couples the modern invitation reads: “Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund.” The shift from registry to bank transfer has left guests battling a new etiquette dilemma – how much is enough?
Wedding list service Prezola reports that the average guest contribution now stands at £116, but the real figure can swing wildly depending on closeness, culture and the cost of attending. Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie give between £250 and £400, adjusting for how close they are to the couple and what they can afford. “We don’t have that many friends, so it’s nice to give generously,” he explains.
“Wedding guests are divided over cash gifts, with average contributions ranging from £50 to £400 depending on closeness and culture.”
At his own wedding, most close friends handed over £100 to £200, one couple gave £400, and his father contributed £2,000. The total became spending money for a 17-day honeymoon in Canada – though Jonny admits they had saved separately “because it’s not worth the risk of relying on donations”.
Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, takes a different approach. She always gives £50 in a card, and found that the average contribution to her own honeymoon fund matched that figure exactly. She raised £3,000 in total by printing QR codes for guests to scan at the bar and mentioning money on the invitations. The cash will go towards spending money for a honeymoon she had already paid for. According to wedding website Hitched, the average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon.
Despite asking for money, Hannah still received physical gifts – including champagne and flute glasses from her boss. “They were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted,” she says. Jonny warns that some guests simply ignore requests for cash because they want something more meaningful. “They mean well, but it probably means you’ll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we did, as well as some physical gifts too,” he says.
With traditions shifting under the weight of expectation, the only certainty is that the wedding-gift debate is far from over.