Johnny and Lottie walked away from their wedding last September with £4,000 in cash gifts, but the 34-year-old groom says the most generous couple gave £400. His dad chipped in £2,000. The rest, from close friends, ranged between £100 and £200. They used the money as spending money on a 17-day honeymoon in Canada, though Johnny says they saved for the trip themselves “because it’s not worth the risk of relying on donations.”
Not everyone is giving hundreds. Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, says she “always gives £50 in a card” and found that the average contribution to her own honeymoon fund was the same. She and her husband received £3,000, which will be used as spending money on a honeymoon they had already paid for. Hannah even created print-out QR codes for guests to scan at the bar, alongside a mention of money on the invitations. But physical gifts still arrived — champagne and flute glasses from her boss. “They were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted,” she says.
“Wedding guests are divided over how much cash to give, with contributions ranging from £50 to £400.”
The shift from traditional gift lists to bank transfer details is leaving guests with a new etiquette puzzle. Wedding list service Prezola says it has seen a rise in couples inviting guests to pay for specific experiences rather than a generic cash pot. The average guest contribution through Prezola is £116. But expectations vary widely, depending on closeness, culture and the cost of attending.
Johnny and Lottie now give between £250 and £400 when they are guests, depending on how close they are to the couple and what they can afford. “We don’t have that many friends, so it’s nice to give generously,” Johnny says. At his own wedding, some guests ignored the cash request entirely, giving John Lewis and M&S vouchers and physical gifts instead. “They mean well, but it probably means you’ll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we did, as well as some physical gifts too,” he adds.
Chelsea Chivers, who is getting married in August, takes a stronger view. “Some people see money as impersonal and think it’s awkward to give but it’s kind of standard now, so either give not…” she is quoted as saying, before the BBC’s text cuts off.
According to Hitched, a UK-based wedding planning website, the average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon. Hannah is going on hers in September, using the cash gifts she received.