When Sarah Reeve got engaged to Lee, she issued a stark ultimatum: he would have to pay off his debt before she would marry him.
“I told him I wouldn’t marry him if he had any debts,” says the 45-year-old. At the time, Lee owed £2,000 on a bank loan he had taken out to buy a car – about £4,000 in today’s money. They set a wedding date two years ahead, giving him time to clear it. Once the debt was gone, the couple paid everything into a joint account and Sarah took charge of bills, saving and budgeting. “He said ‘you can sort it all out and take charge with money because I’m rubbish with it’,” she recalls.
“Sarah Reeve gave fiancé ultimatum to clear £2,000 debt before marriage – 25 years later, she still manages all their finances.”
Twenty-five years and two daughters later, Sarah still manages the family’s finances. The couple, who have always thought of money as shared, have never overstretched themselves and have made regular mortgage overpayments. Sarah, who works part-time in insurance earning £24,000, says she writes down how much is in their accounts every month. “That really helps as if we’ve had a bad month, at least you know and can find the reason,” she explains.
Lee worked in maintenance at the same factory for 27 years, earning about £26,000, before being made redundant four years ago. He now works for himself in property maintenance, earning around £30,000. Sarah took four years off work when they had children, but says the shared approach meant “it’s very much our money rather than mine or yours”.
Yet being the financially responsible one has not always been easy. “I feel like it’s all down to me,” Sarah says, and wishes Lee would take more ownership. “He says, ‘I met you and I had nothing, so I don’t care if I have nothing’,” she adds. Despite the pressure, she feels they have built a secure future – but the burden of planning remains squarely on her shoulders.
Sarah’s experience mirrors a wider trend: more than four fifths of women are actively involved in managing daily finances, according to St James’s Place’s Women and Wealth Report. Family Action, a charity offering financial support, says that when money is tight the first step “is getting a clear picture of what’s going on” – something Sarah has been doing for two and a half decades.
